Nusep makes spectacular discovery: The NuYouth pill. Key...

Nusep makes spectacular discovery: The NuYouth pill.

Key research work by Nusep has been kept under wraps pending acceptance approval by the US FDA. A new enzyme, only recently isolated, using a relatively new electro biological PrIME separation process has already had spectacular effects in the laboratory. The exceedingly high selectivity of the PrIME Technology process allows extraction of very high grade quantities of the enzyme, Factor 21, which, due to the small scale of the bio-molecules, can easily penetrate the epidermis. The effect has been equivalent to discovering the Elixer of Youth. It appears that the lower age limit for efficacy is 21. There is expected to be a good market for the product, NuYouth.

Independent verification by Xray microscopy of tissue cultures has already demonstrated that DNA telomeres have doubled in length on exposure.

Some of the unexpected and somewhat embarrassing results have been that husbands of the women on staff can no longer distinguish between their wives and their daughters when they come home.

The chairman of Nusep said that he hoped that the market could be kept at bay until walls of the building could be reinforced against the clamour of excited customers. He added, “We are still doing our sums on the world population over 30 that will be using NuYouth for the next 90 years.” Meanwhile, people should queue along Burns Bay Rd in an orderly fashion and bring enough cut lunches for 6 weeks.

This announcement is embargoed until 3pm Friday 30 March.

It is expected that the company’s share price will instantly leap to 36c within two hours putting both the issued options, NSPO and NSPOA into the money in one sweep.

Authorship denied by Juke