I have a wooden leg, I met a woman with a wood eye, we dated. We got long great and she asked me if I would like to do it again. Straight of I said ‘Would I ....’ and before I could say ‘ever’ she hissed at me .... ‘Peg leg’!
Tried on line dating; A woman asked for a photo, I sent her one, she replied back ‘I need at least nine photos, anybody can have one good one’, so I sent her the same photo back 8 more times!
On date; Woman said to me ‘You have beautiful eyes’, flattered I said ‘thank you’, she replied ‘They are so beautiful each eye keeps trying to look at the other’
’Your teeth are like the Ten Commandments’ she said, ‘Ten Commandments’ I said puzzled, ‘Yes, they have all been broken at some time’.
’Okay’, trying to kick at least one goal, ‘Do you think my body looks like a Greek God’ I asked. Woman; ‘Only if Buddha is a Greek God’!
She said ‘You remind me of somebody out of the entertainment industry’, ‘Freddy Mercury perhaps’?, ‘Nah’ she said ‘The guy out of that movie Dumb and Dumber’
’How would you see us being married one day’? I asked, ‘Three ring circus buddy; engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering’ she replied.
Anyway at the end of the date I asked her for her number, she wrote something down and gave it too me. Got in my car and eagerly quickly checked it out; ‘1300 loser’, .... ‘What sort of number is that’?
