the iify award, page-38

Most Honourable Rivella

This is to certify that (insert positive appellations here) RIVELLA has won the prestigious and incalculable IIFY AWARD.

A brave call it was indeed! Rivella wiped the floor with many big names including Asteroider, Simhayes, Free Will, Lazyguns, and Markie Mills himself.

All hail Rivella!

If you print out this award and hang it next to your desk, you will be sincerely venerated for the rest of your life. And that is worth millions. Here is some inspiration (and a few hints) to assist you in capitalising on your evident stockmarket capabilities . . .

If I were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.
There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks
For the town to see and hear.
Squawking just as noisily as they can.
With each loud "cheep" "swaqwk" "honk" "quack"
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."

Certified by the incomparable Markie Mills Financial empire.

MM