Learn to read what i actually said before posting and learn to treat people with respect...... You do know all my spelling comes from no where... then you choose to insult me, just to be a little sheet and not even read my post clearly at all.. Learn that i never asked for a single cent, just advice to try and fix my life... You do realize i cant walk... I am 29 with a year 8 education the only job i worked i broke my leg 3 weeks in, and went into severe depression because of it. I dont need you in my thread thanks rocketnz...
When you come from a messed up environment. I have been shot at as a child for zero reason,aggro burged, drugs everywhere, worst of the worst in the same house.. Leaders of biker gangs/drug addicts/alcho's is what i had to learn from, this affects a kids development).. Then add in my feet were backwards at birth, i had major operations at crucial times that ended up just being aweful timing... 7 schools by grade 3, grade 6 the Royal Children's letter comes, both feet reconstructed and fused... Operations failed(more mental mind *) then my step dad kills him self, when im in year 7 and this is where school ends for me prob went a couple of months in year 8(schizophrenic yep i saw the WORST of a human(more mental mindfuck) and went to the psych ward multiple times and saw it all and yeah its worse then the movies at Frankston hospital. I had more ops fail fusion didn't take(mental mind *), im now looking after my 1 year old bro whilst im in splints/wheelchair/plaster depending and recovering from serious reconstructive surgery... My mum had become a serious depressed alcoholic and pokie addict (blew over half the inheritance on pokies and the rest went on piss that became violent against me.. Lucky i was 6 ft 3 120 kg in grade 7/8 as i had to physically fight my mother (she is 6 ft and not your avg women) whilst she was using weapons against me... She would leave and go get blind drunk and come home psychotic and try take it all out on me until i ended it myself and said never again... You know what i did next after my horrid high school and life problems in the most VITAL time of a kids life... Oh yeah i lost all my friends and gained 40 kg when i had all my operations.. Then didn't realize this just though i was addicted to games as an escape.. Nope i was hyper focused on gaming, that is what made my mind tick and made me happy for long time. None of these things were choice for me i had to just deal with it, but guess what, dealing with it at that age can cause life problems.
I spent 7 years inside my room and prob left the house less then 10 times a year.... I did become the best mage on World of Warcraft ( i am SUPER competitive) and enjoyed parts of my gaming life made a bunch of online friends which helped me cope longer.. until i get gallstone pancreatitis and almost died at 21... Then i started thinking of my health... I got lucky on this bit as one of my USA gamer mates was also getting into fitness at the perfect time.. I ended up hyper focused (look up hyper focus if you don't know about it) on fitness, learning it all and going from 178 kg to 113 kg in 7 months gaining muscle and strength at the same time which they try and say is almost impossible... Not for me id gained 10 kg of muscle and lost 75kg of fat/water in 7 moths... This made me eat healthy and go the the gym/swimming. i was actually self medicating my ADHD and depression without knowing it (it boosts those circuits that are broken just like dexamphetamine releases extra good chemicals in the brain and regulates mood) I had severe anxiety and self esteem problems this entire time to, that i just internalized..
Losing weight then allowed me to step outside the house gain a little confidence and feel a little better about myself.. I am now 6 ft 6 113 kg im 22-23 and ready to search for the ladies id been missing spent a year gaming and keepign my weight still enjoying myself more then i had in a long time.... (Yep sex is dopamine release and makes ADHD people feel even better, alot of us are major sex addicts/very kinky in the sack).. Had my fun there and ended up meeting a lady which i am still with, through all the bullshit.... She is a medical scientist that works a Peter Mac and is the fastest worker on her team.
I had cash in the bank at this point and my mum owed me 20 grand to, so i was splurging having the best time of my life right there. so after the first 6 months of me being super into her hyper focused on her.. pleasing all her needs, doing whatever i could to make her happy, because it made me happy she then started to try and fix all my problems that she couldnt handle which are all ADHD related now that i know it... I had no license.. got my license.. No job.. Got my Security license, Got a job... 6 months or so pass at least, i am now 25. I severely dislocate my knee cap at work and tear it all up and needed reconstructive surgery.... Partner is struggling at work due to stress guess what.. She explodes the day i get home from hospital and tries to leave me(psychotic explosion from over stressing ) Yep i cant move my leg without screaming agony and ive been booted out for 3 days wouldnt evne peak to me... Then begs for me back realizing how bad she failed/stuffed up. I end up going back to games. I was injured on work cover for almost a year, gained all my weight back not doing exercise, then partner said go study or work or im leaving you... So i forced myself to 9 months to my 1 year diploma i get a stomach problem that doesn't go away.. GREAT. I miss classes due to it, sick as a dog and just couldn't catch up because i didn't like any of the second half subjects and cannot do homework EVER, no its not laziness ts ADHD
I am not self medicating my ADHD at this point. I didn't know this until now, but was being alot more agitated and argumentative and raising my voice getting in conflicts(making it hard on my partner, she would argue back which never helped). I end up becoming more impatient and just show more annoying traits and this puts more pressure on everything... I am now fat again went from130 kg after eating and drinking for a year or more after my fitness spree back to 175 kg, my relationship is struggling, but my partner loves me and wants a baby(yeah my life is chaos but she really wanted it) So boom we try for a while yeh that caused stress took a while but ive heard worse and it finally happens... Doesn't fix a thing obviously.
We built a house during this time that was a nightmare with a million problems and my partner cant deal with problems well she turns it into stress which makes her another person 2 x angry headed adults acting like children = not good.. My stomach problem doesn't go away... Yep id have gastro symptoms for 2-3 months before going what is wrong with me id not turned up to Tafe at all, was losing weight rapidly as i couldn't eat and had zero energy due to food simply not digesting... Ended up at specialist he did nothing, no answer but inflamed stomach lining and fructose intolerance... I cut that out, eat clean still sick. Ive spent 6 months on a loo and still no clue.. lmao lost 30-40 kg in that time. 50 diets and 2 years later of me being sick many medications etc.... I found how to get better in this time by self exploration, but it requires perfect eating and no meds wow thanks Dr's lol (they made more worse killing off all my good bugs thinking i had something didn't even have, antibiotic galore killed my immune system ended up with Chronic fatigue with multiple chemical sensitivities. No perfume/cleaning chemicals near me ever for a year) which gets very boring for me very quickly, so id eat good for a month, then eat a couple of bad meals and boom id be sick and in regret again this repeated for a long time and still does happen. Still have the stomach problem and now think its related to the gallstone pancreatitis and bad intestinal motility. chicken/rice/veg/green salad for life, if i want to stay good. Now that i am medicated, i am hoping i can stick to plans and get rid of the life burden, i got enough already damn it!
I have a Beautiful 9 month old baby and a partner that i need to provide for... I didn't care about being on a pension for life before, but now I think i can actually do something with my life and want to try at the very least.
During this entire time i had no idea i had ADHD and i also never had a clue how the medication worked or how effective it was. I had said i might have it in convos and had thought about it but never enough obviously. My ADHD meds make me calmer already... I might be ranting my life story right now, but that is because im thinking of my life story right now... I just got diagnosed and i am reliving my life in my head very common problem with us Adult ADHD when diagnosed.
I don't want to se any trolls in here.. When you live like i have you don't take sheet from anyone... So i will defend myself and win if you really do want to try and troll me whilst im in a heightened mental state. I am saying this because people have already done it to me and i dont enjoy trolls especially right now, with the subject of my thread.. Not welcome. Hopefully i repeated myself enough to get that through to the troll brains and nullify all bullshit before it happens. I cant be bothered right now.
I just want to learn and get my life on track, this is a very serious thread and means alot to me.
Any info is appreciated and yeah you dont need to have ADHD to try help me.. I just wanted to see if i could find someone with ADHD to so i can really understand what is going on with my head atm and the patterns/chart things i mentioned.
I just wrote an essay for the first time in my life... Yay me. Hahahahaha RANT city. I am now laughing at myself, cannot believe that guys tiny reply sparked 2000 words of life story ranting... Crazy haha.
Been on this forum for like 8 years for research purposes whenever i felt like having a stocks essentially (not often at all but enough apparently)... Never made a post untill i got diagnosed.. Gotta make up for it apparently.
Sorry if i have repeated myself afew times, alot of sheet wanting to come out of this head that has never seen the light of day.
Cheers
Mick
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