Last year I paid capital gains tax after clawing back some old...

Last year I paid capital gains tax after clawing back some old losses because of stupid "investing", now I'm over $100K in the red. And here I am, with a second chance and I've screwed it up again.

I've never had a spec stock come in. Ever. Came close to a ten bagger a couple of years ago but I'd already sold that prior to it's rise to buy more 88E. That was a brilliant choice.

I've tried to stay positive since the bad news around winx, but I just saw another holding go into suspension, it's looking bad and it's sent me into some seriously dark thoughts. I now know we've all been fleeced by all these speccies. Company directors live the life of luxury while the rest of us hoping to get ahead just end up destitute.

I'd be in an OK place if I hadn't have gotten greedy and tipping in so much, even a $10K loss would be bearable. I really believed in this companies story around the HRZ but the reality was that it was all Paul Basinski driving this and I should've bailed then. The last train out of the station was prior to the nitrogen lift, and could've gotten out slightly in the green. Even having the guts to pull the trigger last week would've seen recoverable losses. I keep thinking that we're being strung along with this farm out, people keep saying what a stand up bloke Dave Wall is, but how do I know that? I've met some smooth operators in my time that seemed genuine. I dont know the guy, he may be what people say, but I can see how much he earns.

I really dont know where to go. I actually felt suicidal after the first drill news, then felt utterly stupid with the second one for thinking that. Then the final news dropped.

I really dont know what to do here. Hang on a bit more and hope? Tell the wife how bad things are and pull the pin now and make some life adjustments? It's catch 22 at the moment. If I walk away with such a big loss and hope to get it back down the track with more careful investing, I really will end up working until I'm 70 but if I do pull the pin and Dave Wall pulls off a miracle I think I really will do something stupid

I need to take a look in the mirror and realise I haven't been investing in stocks, I've been gambling. Ironically if I'd kept it all in companies like BHP or South 32 I'd be staring at half a mill in the bank right now. Specs are a mugs game and I've been played.