Highlights: • New business partner, Wanlitong Loyalty is the...

Highlights:
• New business partner, Wanlitong Loyalty is the loyalty program of Ping An Insurance Group and is China’s largest loyalty point redemption platform with more than 82 million users New contract with online insurance agent XinYiZhan Insurance Agency to provide incentive cloud services (ICS) platform
Hong Kong, 9 September 2015: 99 Wuxian, (ASX: NNW) (“99 Wuxian” or “the Company”) is pleased to provide a business update for the month of August 2015.

1. There should be a full stop before New in the second line.
2. 'New contract with online insurance agent XinYiZhan Insurance Agency to provide incentive cloud services (ICS) platform' doesn't make sense on its own
3. The highlights present a business partner (Wanlitong), and a contract being signed (XinYiZhan). Later they are both presented as business partners; does one have a contract and not the other ? What is the difference between them (terminology)
4. It says it is presenting a business update for the month of Aug 2015; what it is telling us is they have a couple of new business partners which are big, and they have upgraded iBenfefit. There is no business update on turnover, margin, performance against plan.

These announcements should be treated as a Board paper and need to be succinct and grammatically correct. It would have been better to have been presented as follows:

New commercial partnerships demonstrate continued momentum

Highlights:

Contracts have been signed with two new business partners - Wanlitong Loyalty and XinYiZhan Insurance Agency:
• Wanlitong Loyalty is the loyalty program of Ping An Insurance Group and is China’s largest loyalty point redemption platform with more than 82 million users.
• XinYiZhan operates xyz.cn, a leading online insurance network, which provides SMEs and consumers with professional, efficient and high quality one-stop online insurance services in conjunction with major domestic and foreign insurance companies.

Hong Kong, 9 September 2015: 99 Wuxian, (ASX: NNW) (“99 Wuxian” or “the Company”) is pleased to provide an update on these two strategic alliances, and improvements to the iBenefit Upgrade.

etc etc