Ann: Go Vita Distributors Limited appoints Manalto, page-11

Been looking through MTL announcements and it's amusing how much they ramp quite minor sales. If a satire site like The Onion (US) or The Shovel (Aust) ever did a fake satirical MTL announcement I think it would go something like this:

Manalto Vice-President for Corporate Disposals Chuck M Barriss announced today a very exciting new income stream for Manalto in corporate disposal. The highflyer, lured to the company for a yearly salary of only $400,000, announced to the market the sale of an old office chair on Gumtree for $5.

"Disposing of old office stuff is an important new source of income for Manalto", claimed Barriss. "I mean we've got three more of those chairs and a whiteboard. Granted, one of the chair legs is wonky and someone has used a permanent marker on the whiteboard (I'm looking at you Shania), but the office supply market is $17 billion in the US alone. Even if we only captured 10% of that market that's a credible pipeline of $170 billion in revenue."

"Hang on a sec. Has anyone got a calculator?"