Did anybody put in for the job... Found the job description in...

Did anybody put in for the job... Found the job description in local rag. These were the requirements...
1) Able to live a lavish lifestyle
2) Be prepared to complete very few tasks
3) Be prepared to answer communications rarely when on your 52 week annual leave
4) Must show a real commitment to look and sound busy- whilst being able to fob of share holders perfectly
5) Show a commitment to not mining or digging, drilling, etc- as we don’t actually do that
6) Must be able to pad out communications professionally and show high level of professional bullsheet speaking skills
7) Must have astounding knowledge on how to reward BOD with options and shares and be able to milk sh mercilously 
8) Have nautical skills- as you’ll need them in our working lives aboard our 40 foot yachts
9) Must be able to replicate a spider- be able to spin a web of deceit with share holders and asx
10) Low level of education required, must be able to work on a good tan, open expensive wine bottles and know how to relax and meditate

Any body care to add a few?