Okay, please read after meals only.
My thesis on; ‘Different types of poop experiences’
Ghost Poop; This poop comes out but on flushing you see there’s no ‘poop’ in the dunny.
Clean Poop; Perhaps the most sought after, there’s something in the dunny BUT nothing on the paper!
Wet Poop; This one is a ‘bummer’, you have wiped your butt 23 times and it stills feels unwiped, so in desperation you line your undies with toilet paper so as not to stain them.
Second Wave Poop; normally associated with food poisoning perhaps, you think you are done, have your pants half way up when you feel a ‘second on-slaughter’ about to happen.
Pop-Vein-IN-Your Forehead Poop; the kind where you strain so much you have serious concerns about some sort of a injury happening.
Lincoln Line Poop; This one is so huge you are afraid to flush without first poking it with the toilet brush a few times; particularly nasty if done in somebody else’s toilet!
Gassy Poop; so noisy it is embarrassing to do in any public toilet that has a ‘full house’.
Drinkers Poop; the kind of poop after a big nite, bowl totally ‘splattered’, again particularly nasty if on somebody else’s toilet.
Gee -I-Wish-I could Poop Poop; the kind where you attempt but only rewarded with some ‘arts’, hence the old saying ‘Here I sit despondent, paid a penny and only arted’
The Dangling Poop; This refuses to ‘drop’ though you are finished, you even try a couple of ‘shakes’!
All the above you can get thru’, the most embarrassing is the
Suprise Poop; your not even at the toilet, a seemingly ‘safe’ art that goes seriously wrong!
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