You forgot the obvious one. Maybe the proposed acquisition relates to a new sofa with a cup holder, ashtray, foot rest, magazine rack, and side tray table. The old sofa has taken a pounding and a new couch was in order, you know. Yes a light hearted joke given what has transpired here of late.
On a separate note, I am no longer a holder as took the loss a few days ago here to partially offset a gain elsewhere but I truly do wish you all the best here (and if I feel I can contribute to a discussion here in future I will but won't be posting as often as some of the non-holders here).